I’m in my 30’s, pregnant, stable, and climbing the corporate ladder. I’m not ready to be a mom yet. Does doing an adoption make me a bad person?

As job and career advancements have continued to open up for women, the timing of starting a family, or deciding if a family is right for you have shifted.  Not so long ago the opportunities to have a career and pursue many educational avenues were out of reach for women.  The mass goal was to marry young, have children, and to be a mother. While this continues to be a beautiful goal to dedicate one's life to, some women have decided that an alternate path may be best for them.  

Despite the path chosen unplanned pregnancies do occur.  The CDC reports that as many as 41.6% or pregnancies in 2019 were unintentional. An estimated 23-25% of all children in the US are raised by a single mother in vast contrast to roughly 4-5% being raised by single fathers.  These statistics have led many women to consider if adoption is an option for them and their child.  The reality is that adoption may be a good option for an expectant mother who is facing a pregnancy alone, wanting to continue to pursue their educational/career goals, and feels that the best option for the child is to be raised by a parent(s) who feel ready to begin their parenthood journey.  

Adoption is a reproductive option.  An expectant parent is allowed to assess their options and is right for them and their circumstances.  Starr Adoption Services promotes open adoption, allowing you to continue a relationship with your child, while also pursuing your personal goals. Weighing out the reality of parenting while moving towards your personal goals is a good exercise to consider.  For example, how many hours are you comfortable with having your child in childcare? Will you have support from family/friends to assist to allow you to still travel for work? What is the time commitment for the next position you are hoping to earn & is it conducive to the amount of time you would have available to parent in the manner that you want to?

These are challenging questions to answer, but they do not make you a “bad person”. These questions demonstrate your love and consideration for both your child and yourself. And there is no correct answer to how you choose to move forward in your decision making when confronted with an unplanned pregnancy. 

Want to process your decision with a counselor? Give us a call 480.519.4393