LGBTQIA+ Adoptions with Starr Adoption Services

I remember the first time I received a phone call from a same sex couple hoping to adopt. The man introduced himself and then with a tremble in his voice he said “does your agency work with” a long pause, and then “my husband & I were wondering if.” Tears immediately filled my eyes, I was horrified to realize that he had clearly been disappointed and rejected by agencies before. I cleared my throat, knowing I would not make it through this call without crying if I didn’t and stated “we work with ALL families as long as you have an approved home study or can obtain one, and our philosophies on adoption align.” You could feel the thickness in the air be cleared away as he relaxed, and we began our conversation about the agency values, what to expect, etc.

The truth is no family should feel that who they are is an eliminating factor. We welcome LGBTQIA+ families to join are list as long as the home study standards and all other agency requirements are achieved. There are many children in need of families and we believe that the choice of the expectant parents regarding an adoptive family is an important factor and so ensuring that expectant parents have as many options of possible families to raise the child the better.

As long as you are ready to subject yourself to a nosey home study, changing some smelly diapers, and loving a sweet baby we would love to have you be part of our SAS Family. When you are ready reach out to see what is need to join our program.

Can Someone Please Explain to Me What a Home Study Is?

If you already have your home study you can skip this article; congrats you are one step closer to growing your family. However, if you are newly considering adoption as a path to grow your family, you’ve likely heard this phrase thrown around.

So what is a home study? A home study is a required comprehensive evaluation of anyone considering becoming adoptive parents, that’s you. This evaluation includes assessing your home, background, finances, life, health, relationship, and home inspection. We will be honest, the process is somewhat invasive, but necessary to assess for fitness of moving forward as prospective adoptive parents.

While you are permitted to obtain your home study from any agency, when possible we love having you complete this service with us. It provides us an opportunity to get to know you better and provide the best possible match opportunities to you. If you already have your home study or live in a state that we do not offer home study services yet, we will take the time to meet with you and get to know you so that you are also provided the highest level of services.

Starr Adoptions is listed as one of the Adoption Agencies in Tucson, but are happy to travel throughout Arizona to complete your home study.

Should We Do An Open Adoption or Closed Adoption?

Starr Adoption Services works closely with expectant parents and adoptive parents regarding adoption preferences, openness, and the realities of adopting in the modern era. While no one can fully answer that question for you, there is a history attached to open adoptions and closed ones that may help to inform your decision.

Prior to the 1970’s virtually every adoption was closed and typically expectant parents were unable to select the adoptive family that their child would be placed with. Often adoptions had a great deal of pressure attached to them as the stigma of having a baby young, out of wedlock, etc. was high inside of the United States. While not an absolute, many adoptees and birth parents, express emotional challenges related to the closed nature, lack or choice, lack of biological history, etc. that accompanied adoptions that were often only marked with the exchange of the first name of the birth mother and generic information about the adoptive family such as a couple from NY and their first names.

During the 1970’s and 80’s there began to be a movement towards the expectant mother having an ability in some cases to select the adoptive family. At times the expectant mother even met the adoptive family, but adoptions still remained largely closed.

In the 1990’s and moving into modern day open adoption slowly but steadily become the norm. In most private adoption the expectant parents select the adoptive parent (often together). A plan for openess is developed ranging from updates (pictures and/or written), video calls, annual or biannual visits in person. and etc. Most experts believe that this is the healthiest form of adoption. Permitting the child to have some level of access to their birth family, birth parents having the peace of mind to know the child is doing well, and adoptive families being able to get to know birth parents better & access family and medical history quickly in the case of an emergency.

There are many benefits to an open adoption, but at times an expectant mother is only willing to have a closed adoption. While these cases are more rare, they do occur on occasion. Closed adoptions often pose challenges in accessing medical and family histories, answering questions for the adoptee, and clarifying subjects as needed.

Please feel free to contact us to learn more about openess in adoption.

Why is private adoption so pricey?

If you are new to exploring private adoption you may have whiplash at the cost and the varying cost across agencies.

Some common contributing factors to the cost of adoption are:

• Expectant Parent Living Expenses

• Legal Fees - filing fees, attorneys for the agency, expectant parent, and your own finalization attorney

• Counseling Services

• Parenting Services

• Case Management

• Mileage

• Agency fees - covering things such as operating cost

• Advertising cost to market your family

• Etc.

It’s okay to ask about fees with the agency you select. Explore which agencies will provide the highest level of services to both you and the expectant parent and the most support.

While many agencies have adoption fees that range drastically case by case sometimes nearing $75,000-$100,000, Starr Adoption Services maintains one flat fee ,for all non-contested adoptions, that is a fraction of these cost. Our goal is to grow your family through fair flat rate transparent fees & transparent adoption fall through fees so you know exactly how much is at risk. The emotional risk of adoption are plenty to manage, families should not have uncertainty around additional living expenses, case management fees etc. This model increases your ability to manage and plan for growing your family and managing your risk. Please contact us today to discuss fees, payment plans, and how we can help grow your family. Contact Starr Adoption Services for a free orientation to discuss the adoption process at Starr Adoption Services.

Exploring ways to adopt

The paths to adoption are diverse and plentiful. There is no one way to adopt. Here is an exploration of the most common adoption paths

Kinship Adoptions are often the most affordable. In a kinship adoption you are typically related to the child or have a long term relationship with the child. Depending on the circumstances this type of adoption may be through the state (foster care) or with a private adoption.

Foster Care Adoptions like kinship adoptions are also very affordable. Typically the fees associated with this type of adoption include your attorney for finalization - often states have a subsidy to aide with this cost. The goal of foster care is reunification not foster care. You may have several children reunify with their biological parents or be placed with a relative prior to having the opportunity to adopt. If you feel that you are able to support a family through the reunification process this may be a good option for you to consider.

Self-Advocating or Self-Matching adoptions are when individuals choose to not use an agency, attorney, etc for the matching process. The prospective adoptive families work to match with expectant parents on-line. While many have had successful self-matches it is considered a slightly riskier practice given the lack of guidance from an agency or attorney and the high risk of being a victim of fraud.

Attorney Adoptions are guided by an attorney. It is best to obtain recommendations and interview a few attorneys. Although some attorneys do use a social worker to provide some support to the expectant parent it can be limited. The needed support of the expectant parent should be considered. The primary concern with these adoptions is that if a child is in need of adoption subsidy it is unable to be accessed without the adoption being an agency adoption.

Agency Adoptions like attorney adoptions are best when you are able to obtain recommendations and interview a few agencies to determine which agency is the best fit for you. In talking with the agency clarify what services are provided to the adoptive parents and the expectant parents, what does contact with expectant parents look like, what is the fee structure, what are your at risk fees, what is the agencies rematch policy, etc. Agencies often provide the largest amount of support for everyone ensuring the needs of each person are met.

Considering agency adoption? Learn More